trashcanbees:

officialsnakeplissken:

Neighbor boy knocked on my door. Often he needs his soccer ball inflated and asks me to use my air compressor. He’s holding a giant ass jar of minced garlic. And I’m like “So uh…what’s going on? We have Italian or what?”

“Umm. Umm. Grandma can’t open the jar and I’m not strong enough. Can you?”

So I open the jar. He runs back and spills the entire jar on the sidewalk.

I’m the kid

(via surprisebitch)